Scratchie\’s World

School Done!!! Other stuff in life to write about now….

Driving in Jamaica

BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN JAMAICA 1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Jamaican driver never uses them. 2. Under no circumstance should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation. 3. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit. 4. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended. 5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. The other guy doesn’t have anything to lose. 6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs. 7. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It’s a good way to scare people for a laugh. 8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are apparently not enforceable in Kingston. 9. Just because you’re in the right lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn’t mean that a Jamaican driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn’t think he can go faster in your spot. 10. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. 11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Jamaica is the home of the high-speed ‘dally’, thanks to the KSAC, which puts pot-holes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keep them on their toes. 12. It is traditional in Jamaica to honk your horn at cars that don’t move the instant the light turns green. 13. Remember that the goal of every Jamaican driver is to get there first –by whatever means necessary.

I got the above from a friend so I’m sharing it with you guys.

September 27, 2005 - Posted by | Uncategorized

11 Comments »

  1. LOL Scratchie-So true. It’s been so long that I’ve driven in Kingston and it’s really scary. I’ll drive, but only on the roads I’m familiar with and that’s usually leaving town.

    Comment by Sunshine | September 27, 2005 | Reply

  2. Sitting on horn! Drive up the b-mbocleat cyar nuh Scratchie…look from when de light green! 😉

    Aaah bwoy.

    Comment by Dr. D. | September 27, 2005 | Reply

  3. LOL I read that one before and it still cracks me up! The sad thing is that the rules are actually true on jamaican roads!

    Comment by Stunner | September 27, 2005 | Reply

  4. I agree with all said there Scratchie…which is probably why I have so many problems doing what Americans call “tail-gating”

    Comment by Angry Dog | September 27, 2005 | Reply

  5. Ha ha ha ha de Venezuleans thief dem rules from de yardies or wunna thief dem from de Venezuleans????

    Comment by Campfyah | September 27, 2005 | Reply

  6. i like it!

    Comment by Jdid | September 27, 2005 | Reply

  7. sounds like all the cbean drivers get the same manual:)

    Comment by Abeni | September 27, 2005 | Reply

  8. Too right Abeni, ’cause I could swap out “Jamaican” for “St Lucian” and it would still work.

    Comment by dorna! | September 28, 2005 | Reply

  9. I’ve come across this one before. So true eh?

    Comment by Shotta M | September 28, 2005 | Reply

  10. You should drive in southern Africa. You’d have to add one rule: “Turn off your headlights when you’re on a dark road with no street lights, so that you don’t scare the animals running across.”

    Zambia was a lot like being on a rollercoaster- you didn’t think you’d die, but it would feel like it anyway.

    Comment by SableDawn | September 28, 2005 | Reply

  11. Don’t forget the flashing of your high beams when you’re overtaking while another car is coming the opposite way as a signal of “move outa mi way”.

    Comment by CoolDestiny | September 29, 2005 | Reply


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